Crushing Self Doubt and Legs (Day 32)

That nagging voice of self doubt seeped into my head last night as I revisited the feelings that I was having at the end of yesterday's workout.

Why are these push-ups so hard? Sh*t, I'm doing them on my knees and they are still hard. OMG, my arms are literally shaking.

Don'tfaceplantDon'tfaceplantDon'tfaceplant.

It had been a while since I took some progress pictures, so that was the first thing that I did this morning. After scanning through the other pictures on my phone, I felt better. Perspective was something I really needed this morning.

That horrible evil nagging voice can go kick rocks. The mind is a powerful thing, so I think it's important that you say kind things to yourself.

June 29, 2015	September 7, 2015
A calf muscle, yay!	Let's cuddle! No, I don't mind that you're sweaty from the gym. Your boobs make a nice pillow. Kthx.

I went to the gym to do Day 32's workout (Legs). I'll backtrack and do Day 31 tomorrow, hopefully after work.

Other wins for today:

• Made a batch of sweet potatoes and butter chicken
• Cut up the 2 lb container of strawberries I bought from Costco the other day
• Washed 2 loads of laundry
•  Scrubbed down the bathroom

Day 30: Chest

I went to bed last night with a pounding headache. It was tough to fall asleep and when the alarm went off for me to go to spin class this morning, I said "no, thanks!" and went back to sleep. My quads were sore from yesterday's CrossFit session anyway.

After a few more hours of sleep and breakfast, I went to the gym for Day 30: Chest. OMG, those tabata push-ups at the end are so hard! They didn't get any easier than the last time. But that aside, I'm at the halfway mark! This is SO exciting! After the gym, I did some grocery shopping and then went home to shower and take a nice nap. Now I'm vegging in front of the TV.  Yay for no work tomorrow! :D

CrossFit and New Booties

CrossFit class #4 of the week! I used up my 10-session punch card, so in order to go, I had to either purchase another one or go ahead and purchase the membership. I purchased the membership and signed up for class.

I added 5 lbs. to my front squat, so now I'm at 70 lbs. My thighs were killing me towards the end.

Then there was the timed portion of the workout:
400 m run
15 burpees
400 m run
15 push press
200 m run
30 burpees
200 m run
30 push press 

There was a 15 minute cap, and I was able to get it done in 14:13. Dropping the barbell (40 lbs.) at the end of the 30 push presses was like "BOOM, I did it!" That felt so freakin' good! Not just because the workout was done, but because I really pushed myself and made it under the cap when I thought I wouldn't be able to when the coach listed out the workout.

After class, I sent Julie a text to let her know that I did make it to class AND I purchased the membership. She was probably grinning from ear-to-ear in San Francisco. After 2 months, she finally wore me down. This CrossFit experience has been awesome so far, so sure, I'll keep going.

I went home to shower and then I went to the mall. I got some new booties that I can wear for the fall season ($10 off coupon, $10 off certificate, double points, muah ha ha). I wanted to find some new skinny jeans, but nothing was really fitting right so I gave up on that front. I then went to Costco and bought some peaches and strawberries. I'll do some real grocery shopping after spin class tomorrow.

Finally Friday

The day did not start off on the right note.

Well, actually, let me back up. It did because I got to sleep in a little bit, and because it was my telework day, I didn't have to worry about what I had to wear. I just rolled out of bed and went downstairs to turn on my work computer.

And then it was a grumpy morning.

My boss, who's been on vacation this past week, sent me an email to check on the status of a request. At the beginning of the week, the person responsible for the request said that he'd take care of it. He's been saying this since June (and it's now September!!). It's one thing if it was an internal issue, but when our external partners are wondering what's going on, that's not a good look. I IMed one of the directors to vent because I knew she was experiencing similar issues. She advised me to write an email with documentation to our senior director and cc my boss and her. UGH, gee, just what I want to be doing on a Friday morning. Tattling. Lovely.  On the other hand, don't keep promising me things for months and not do anything about it.

Today was my rest day so after I finished work stuff, I took a nap on the couch and then headed out to check in with my family. I went first to my cousin's house. My aunt happened to make some noodles. Oh, perfect, how did you know I hadn't eaten dinner yet? I hung out there for a while and said see you later to my other cousin that's flying back to Taiwan tomorrow. I then went two doors down to check in with my parents.

Now debating whether or not to go to CrossFit tomorrow morning...that'll be class #4 for the week!

Work Day Victories, Day 29 and Spin Class

I have 3 surveys in the queue at work.  I was able to send out one today and 10 people already responded to it! Maybe I won't have to pull any teeth to get some feedback! Another one will be sent out next week. The third one will have to wait until my boss gets back, but it doesn't really have to get sent out until later on this month. Even if I did it in October, that would be fine too.

I managed to get my butt to the gym after work to do Day 29: Back. I was still a little sore from all the pushups I did at CrossFit yesterday, but I pushed through it. I had to do some of the exercises out of order because of the growing crowd. There was a towel placed on the pec deck, so I thought it was being used. I circled around a few times and then I realized that the towel and water bottle belonged to the lady using the leg press 5 feet away.  Hell-o?! What are you doing taking up 2 machines at once. Unless you're Gumby, I assure you you can only use one machine at a time. -_- Oh well, what matters is that I finished the workout in time to go home to feed RJ and head over to the other gym for spin class. I'm not sure what happened to the speakers in the room, but the songs sounded weird tonight. It was as if one of the speakers wasn't working so you could only hear the beat of the sound by the singing would be very faint.

Currently listening to Justin Bieber's "What Do You Mean" (shhh, no laughing!) and Carly Rae Jepsen's "Run Away With Me."

I'm so looking forward to my telework and rest-from-the-gym day tomorrow!

CrossFit Class and a Different Look

Third 6:30 AM CrossFit session in a row. Whew!  I think out of the 3 days, today's was the hardest. I learned some new moves, the snatch and overhead press. I spent time working on my form with the coach because there are so many things to remember. Chest over the bar, bend your knees, bar close to your body, etc. Then there was an AMRAP (as many reps as possible) workout with push-up burpees over the bar and weighted step-ups. Those push-ups, even though I did them on my knees, were tough towards the end. Tough enough that my arms actually gave out and my body hit the mat. After the workout, the coach said, "Tina, you killed it today." Oh really?  Heh. Because I feel like the workout killed me. Blah!  I don't know how I managed to drive home and actually wash my hair since my arms and shoulders felt like jello.

Since I didn't have anything pressing to do at work, I took an extra 10 minutes and ran a curling iron through my hair instead of wearing it up in a ponytail. I also took out a Sephora Cream Lip Stain in Blackberry Sorbet (this formula is awesome, by the way...) and wore it to work. This was the first time I've worn a dark color like that to work. I wanted to try something different. The results were funny and interesting.

I walked by the policy director's office on my way to the kitchen to rinse out my lunch container. He was in his office already talking to someone and stopped mid-sentence. "Tina!" I backtracked. "Where are you going?" Uh, the kitchen. I don't remember what his response was, but he alluded to the dark lipstick and the hair down. He seemed kinda suspicious. The coworker in his office mumbled something about a date. The policy director smiles, "You can say that, but I can't." Hah. And then it dawned on me...oh, he thinks I'm looking different because I'm going on a date later. Alas, nope.

I was talking to the receptionist as I was leaving the office. She looks at me, "Did you get your nose pierced?!" Um, yeah, a few weeks ago. She's been on vacation, so I haven't seen her in a little while. "It looks pretty. Tsk, Tina, the nose piercing and the dark lipstick. I see you, Tina, I see you getting fly!" Hah, um, thanks? :)

Waiting, waiting, waiting for people to email me back.

Summer 2015 Reflection

Now that’s it’s September 1st…hang on, let me flip the calendar page to acknowledge that it’s true…I wanted to sit down, reflect and document what has transpired over the past three months. It’s been an eventful summer, and eventful in a sense that I did 3 things that I’ve been wanting to do, but have been afraid to do them.

1. I ventured into the weights section of the gym. I’ve been spinning for 7 years and slowly got into doing weights at home at the beginning of 2015. I went to Tumblr for inspiration and ideas for ways to switch up my workout routine. On June 28, I bought Crush60 after weeks of hesitating. On July 1, I marched myself to that section of the gym and did Day 1’s workout. I finished Day 28 last Friday, so whew, almost halfway there.

2. In addition to the regular gym, I started going to a CrossFit gym, as encouraged by my sister. I went from “No, thanks, maybe next time” (a nice way of saying “No freakin’ way in hell!”) to mustering the energy to go a few times a week, sometimes for the 6:30 AM session, as I did today and yesterday. It’s tough to not feel energized when the coach is yelling “You can do it. Come on, Tina! Come on, sisters!” 

3. I got my nose pierced. Sorry, not sorry, Mom.

I think what these things have in common is that I had to summon 20 seconds of courage (long enough for a few deeps breaths) and just show up. There are people on the sidelines on the internet and IRL who will push me along the way. Has it been easy? Hell NO. Were there times that I thought I could not do another side raise/bicep curl/burpee/tuck-up/wall ball/(insert exercise of choice here)? YES. With all those feelings of exhaustion and occasional self-doubt aside, I’ve seen a positive change in how I feel about myself and that’s so rewarding!

I’m excited to see what the next 3 months bring. On the to-do list so far are to finish Crush60 and attend my 10-year college reunion (?!).

P.S. I made it to the 6:30 AM CrossFit session today.  Good news: I sumo deadlifted 105 lbs this morning, so new PR, woot!  The timed workout was 800 m run, 35 tuckups and then another 800 m run. I had to switch to regular sit-ups halfway through and felt like a turtle that couldn't get up.